109th Ask Josh – Feelings

Dear Freaking Josh Guest,

Can you describe how you felt last weekend in relation to your poor health? I mean I saw how you felt but I want you to put it in words.

Jeremy

…..

Dear Jeremy,

It was awful. It was like being Stephenie Meyer. You might ask, "Why is being awful like being Stephenie Meyer?"

I'll tell you why it is rough being Stephenie Meyer: because she has to live with the mathematical fact that she is worse than Satan.

You may ask me, "How is it a mathematical fact that Stephenie Meyer is worse than Satan?"

Well, let's put it this way.  Based on what we know about Satan, he deceived one third of the hosts of heaven in the pre-existence, leaving two-thirds to come to earth.

Of those two-thirds remaining, Stephenie Meyer has deceived over half (because there are more women than men on the planet). Over one half of the residents of this planet is over one half of two thirds of the hosts of heaven, which is more than a third of the hosts of heaven. Ergo, Stephenie Meyer is worse than Satan.

And that's why I felt so awful.