joshguessed

Archive for June, 2009|Monthly archive page

144th Ask Josh – Man Fishing

In Uncategorized on June 14, 2009 at 10:55 am

jc said…

Josh say a girl likes a guy, what can she do to get the guy. What are things they can do and things they shouldnt do to get the guys attention. How can we clue you guys in with out being to blunt, or do guys like that? I think this could be very helpful coming from a guys perspective. Thanks

….

Dear jc,

How appropriate of you. This is my 144th Ask Josh. That’s a dozen dozen questions answered. That’s a gross. This is my gross post. You know what else is gross? Getting a guy.

First of all, if you want to get the guy, you have to get out of the mindset that your story is going to be like the fairy tale endings in movies like Sleepless in Seattle or Pride & Prejudice. Yes, it would be nice to run into Mr. Darcy in the woods and have him declare his love for you after pretending to not give you the time of day. And who wouldn’t want to hear Tom Hanks talk about his deceased wife over a nationally syndicated radio show and then meet you on the top of the Empire State building?

Based on what I have seen, women love chick flick and chick lit endings on paper only. For example, if a guy, say Noah on The Notebook, actually hung from a Ferris wheel and promised to commit suicide if you didn’t go out with him, would you really clutch your chest and say, “that is soooo sweet.” You wouldn’t, would you? But you did when you saw it, didn’t you?

If you want to get a guy, get real.

That being said, I suppose your question is asking me how forward can you be with guys without coming off as desperate, or “blunt” as you call it.

You have to understand that guys are like balloons. Some can take a lot of pressure and never seem to pop. Others pop at random times with no provocation at all. Some guys do not want to be spoken with at all and just looking at them will cause them to flee, or “pop” in accordance with the balloon analogy. Some require it or will do nothing.

If you are tired of waiting for a guy to ask you out, I have both good news and bad news for you. First, the good news. From Emily Post on Etiquette:

“Fortunately, dating etiquette has changed. Women don’t have to sit by the phone hoping someone will call. … When two people meet and sense that they would like to spend more time together, either may initiate a date.” [HarperCollins: New York. 1995. p. 6]

The bad news: most men I know don’t know this, or if they do, they don’t believe in it. But if you want to ask a guy out and he is offended by it, then shame on him.

Sometimes you just need the guy to get to know you better and it should take care of itself. If that is the case, then invite him over to play Apples to Apples at a game night with various friends. Apples to Apples is fun, no matter what.

Curses is not fun. Don’t play that game. I always ask for curses and as soon as I get three collected, I blow them all immediately so I can go home.

Don’t call him just to talk. That’s worse than curses. Call with a purpose, and when you have fulfilled your purpose, end the conversation without forcing him to say, “Well, I gotta go.” And don’t say, “well, I guess I’d better let you go.” That’s conversationally fishing for compliments. You may as well beg him to tell you this conversation is going well and that he wants to keep talking.

Economist Nat Harward said, “You gotta remember, in the dating economy, the man is the dating supplier. You don’t want to be demanding something he’s not supplying. And if the guy is not supplying opportunities, then, gurl, you outta luck. He just may be supplying in other markets.”

Sorry, economically speaking, guys are still the price makers, and women are still the price takers. We determine how much we are willing to invest and potentially lose in the dating world. And you still may have to accept the offers as they come or hold out in hopes of getting a better offer.

If you don’t like it. You can take sides with Mrs. Banks in the movie Mary Poppins, “Although we adore men individually, we agree that as a group they’re rather stupid.”

So, if you’re going to take the initiative, then I say, “Go get ’em.”

If you’re going to wait, then I say, “Go get got.”

Love,

Josh

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143rd Ask Josh – Finals?

In Uncategorized on June 14, 2009 at 9:44 am

Whitney Dewey asked via Facebook…

mr. guest,

tai en los examenes finales?
because i miss your blogs.

……

Dear Whitney,

I am not in final exams. I recognize that I have not written in a goodly while. Here is what I have been up to lately:

  • I have been studying for the Law School Admissions Test. I just took the LSAT on Monday. I had been studying for it for about 4 months. I pampered myself the week preceding by going out for food frequently, the morning before the test I took the day off work and watched Mary Poppins on YouTube as well as all the fight scenes from the Rocky movies. Just try and be sad after watching Dick Van Dyke sing “Step in Time” or watching the training montage just before Rocky fights Ivan Drago in Rocky IV. In any case, it took up a lot of my time lately.

  • I worked three jobs this summer. I was in the newsroom at the BYU Daily News, starting at 7:00 am. There I worked at the assignment desk where I answered phones, scoured through 5 or 6 newspapers, sifted through press releases, and even did a little tape editing and news writing on the side.
  • At 12:00 after I got through with the news I walked straightway to the Preprofessional Advisement Center. Since I didn’t have time for a lunch break I would eat my lunch as I walked between jobs. I would eat a sandwich, a Nutrigrain bar (blech). a stick of cheese, a cup of fruit (since I kept on forgetting the spoon, I learned to fit it all in my mouth in one single pour), maybe a pudding here or there and a weight loss shake.
  • At 3:00, when I finished Prelaw advisement work, I would go to work for Multicultural Student Services where I prepared for SOAR. A program that helps to identify and prepare multicultural candidates to apply for BYU.
  • At 6:00 I was done with SOAR and then I went to class where I learned about LSAT where I finished at 9:00.
  • I also did 1 credit worth of research for a professor where I coded Supreme Court transcripts. Since my time was very limited, I usually fit this into the cracks of whenever I was watching television at a friend’s house or waiting in line at the movie theater, or anywhere else that could stand to have a laptop present.
  • And I did the weather on TV, too. Don’t believe me? Check me out here. Or here. Or here. Or here. Or here. Or here. Or even here. Or perhaps here. You might be lucky if you look here, too.

So, Whitney. No. I have not been taking finals. But I’m glad you missed the blog. I’ll see what I can do about it hoy mismo.

Que te vaya cachilupi,

Josue