Archive for February, 2010|Monthly archive page

153rd Ask Josh – Helaman or Heritage?

In Uncategorized on February 26, 2010 at 10:42 pm

Rachel said…


WHERE is the best place to live on campus at BYU!!!?!??!?!! I AM IN DESPERATE NEED OF HELP!


Tiffany said….


dear josh, can i ask you one of your ask josh questions?

well first i was going to ask you to marry me but then i saw you were already engaged. dang!

anyways i was wondering what dorm you would recommend staying in. I'm not gonna have a car so i ruled out wyview because its journeys away. i cant decide between heritage and helaman. your expertise is much appreciated.

love, tiffany




Dear Tiffany and Rachel,


First of all, congratulations on getting into BYU. Back when we were just the Maeser Building and the Brimhall, BYU President Franklin S. Harris, "Behold the greatest university campus in all the world–in embryo" (Daily Herald, 16 October 1923).


Elder A. Theodore Tuttle said, “BYU is the greatest university in the world. There are unlimited opportunities here” [BYU Devotional, 7 September 1980]. 


Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said, “I am just biased enough to believe it is the best university in all the world for you to attend” [BYU Devotionals, 15 September 1987].


And if you won’t believe the members of the Seventy or even an Apostle, take it from the prophet, Spencer W. Kimball:


“It is a glorious privilege to be attending this, the greatest university in all the world. …take a good look and analyze carefully, and when you take the important points and sum them up, you come out with this final thought: that Brigham Young University is the greatest university in the world” [BYU Devotionals, 12 September 1978].


I know a whole bunch of Aggies and Utes who really hate that last one.

Before you rule out Wyview, you may consider that plenty of the students there take the bus, (as do many students living even further from campus or ones that just want to save gas and don’t want to bother with trying to find a parking spot on campus).


But, since your question specifically asks me to help referee your internal debate between Helaman and Heritage…


Here is the short of it…


Helaman Halls – newer, Cannon Center food, tall showers, near the RB (racquetball, indoor track, tennis, outdoor track, etc.), visitors allowed in your dorm a total of 6 hours a week, sometimes you get a bathroom between you and 3 other girls, sometimes you share a bathroom with an entire floor


Heritage – more people per unit, your own kitchen, have your own bathroom for your unit, visitors can come over every day and stay until midnight (or 1:30 on Fridays).


I really liked living in Helaman because I loved Cannon Center food. Some didn’t like it so much, but since I lived there they have completely rebuilt it and they now have an entirely new food setup which I think is superior to anything you’ll find at any college. I made the mistake of trying to do most of my studying in my dorm (if I had known better I would have just stayed in the library on campus). I played a lot. My grades suffered down there. I’m glad I didn’t have to worry about where my next meal would come from.


Heritage Halls has more of the feel of an off-campus singles ward. I have to be careful here, but I would say you may have to grow up faster in Heritage. I say that just because you have to do your own grocery shopping and more housework than do your Helaman counterparts on top of your studies, plus you have more R.M.’s in your midst who really want to get married which makes for a different social environment.


Personally, I loved Helaman Halls. Alphabetically it comes first. I would definitely recommend it to anyone going to BYU. That’s where I think my little brother will be going, too ;).




Josh Guest




152nd Ask Josh – Fair Turnaround Play

In Uncategorized on February 16, 2010 at 3:28 pm

Anonymous said…


How do you get a girl to give you a second chance when you treated her poorly and tried to get her to not like you before?  And how do I get her number again so I can contact her?




Dear friend,


First, I sure hope your treating her poorly did not include any kind of verbal, emotional or physical abuse. In which case I would be loath to help you lest you repeat any such atrocities. But, if you mean by treating poorly that you were the indifferent to her attempts at getting to know you better, that I can understand.


The first literary example that comes to mind is that of Benedick, a young lord of Padua, in William Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing. Benedick, a young lord of Padua, swears, “I will live a bachelor … [ere I die, I will look pale] With anger, with sickness, or with hunger, my lord; not with love… [and] If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat and shoot me” [I, i, 257-68].


Regarding Beatrice, Benedick gave most unkind words to describe the woman he would later grow fond of. He said of her, “indeed, all disquiet, horror and perturbation follow her” [II, i, 270-1]. The Bard’s way of saying she is a needy Facebook stalker perhaps? Or just not quite what you’re looking for right now?


Then, while speaking to himself, Benedick notes that if he ever did look to marry any woman, she would have to possess all the traits of being fair, wise, virtuous, rich, noble, mild, an excellent musician and so forth. Sounds like a list you may have made for yourself when you pictured your future love. Benedick sees none of these things in Beatrice. Shortly after he overhears Don Pedro and Claudio speaking in secret how Beatrice possesses all such qualities. Benedick has his awakening and decides to pursue her.


Well, what does he do? He promises to do anything Beatrice tells him to do. Too bad her one task is for him to kill a guy. Notwithstanding, he undertakes it and challenges the man she wishes dead.


So, if you are to win the heart of this girl you once maltreated you are going to have to humble yourself and admit your wrong and provide full disclosure as to the what and why behind your actions of treating her poorly. You will indeed have to make amends and show by your actions the depth and sincerity of your regret. It will not be enough to just tell her you have changed your mind about her. You must swallow that pride of yours and ask her forgiveness if you are to ever begin a dating relationship with any possibility of success. Flowers, chocolates, and balloons will not be nearly so meaningful as your honesty, sincerity and gentlemanliness. Tears may be in order depending on how much of a turnaround you have actually experienced.


You have to treat her like a princess this time around. You have to open the doors, offer your arm, respect her opinion and time. You must put her happiness before yours if you want to get any kind of happiness in this relationship you have heretofore failed to nurture properly or maturely. It can be done. You must do all you can and then respect her choice.


As regards getting her number, try asking her for it. If she is not available, try mutual friends, then public directories, and then social networking sites. If those do not work ask me and I shall undertake it.


Best wishes,





151st Ask Josh – Predictable Partner?

In Uncategorized on February 14, 2010 at 2:38 am

M asks…

If a boy wants to do something every night and text you while you aren’t doing stuff. Does that mean that he’s interested? We are friends and he just got off his mission. The thing is I’m not being impatient, I just don’t want to hold out for him if there is not even a chance.



The more I witness interactions betwixt twain people, the more I learn that no one thing means anything anymore. People are using their agency for all sorts of crazy things these days. Consequently we see a smattering of everything along the relationship spectrum. Actions that may have heretofore been considered a telltale sign can easily be explained away by any manner of thinking.

There may have been a time, albeit a purer one, when a boy would pin a girl and that meant one thing and one thing only. Now if a guy pins a girl, it may be interpreted any number of ways:

He likes to poke things.
He’s a wrestler who is taking on female foes for practice.
He’s an Andy Kaufman impersonator
He’s really into the first chapter of Wealth of Nations but doesn’t know how to channel his enthusiasm for division of labour.

He’s a micro-sadist
He is smitten with the girl he is pinning
He has a crush on the pinnee’s roommate
He’s the careful type and wants to practice putting a boutonniere on someone else first.

Now then, take your boy for another example. He wants to do something every night. What does it mean? We’ll cover some of the major checkpoints along the spectrum of meaning.

It could mean he…

Wants to be your eternal companion and have seed as numerous as the sands of the sea.
Wants to marry you at the stake center
Wants to get hitched at the courthouse
Wants to date exclusively
Wants to be in an open relationship
Wants to be it’s complicated
Wants to be your friend
Wants to date your friend
Thinks he is Edward Cullen
Is Edward Cullen
Is a less famous vampire who just needs meaningful evening activities and enjoys texting
Wants you to be in his band
Wants a ride to class
Wants to borrow notes from class
Wants to borrow money
Wants to case your apartment so he can rob it later
Already robbed your apartment and wants to charm his way off the suspect list
Is this guy:
[Photo removed by request of third party]

Assume nothing.