joshguessed

Archive for October, 2009|Monthly archive page

149th Ask Josh – Josh’s bio

In Uncategorized on October 1, 2009 at 4:25 pm

Michelle asked…

Dear Josh,

I need your biography. When can you get that to me?

….

Josh said…

My biography:

Josh Guest was born without any knees. He first learned to walk around with braces on his legs. As a child he made a blood covenant with a band of thieves that in exchange for all his wampum, he would become tall and the prettiest girl in the ball.

He had his first concussion while attempting a triple salchow during a pinewood derby.

He doesn't like hiking Squaw Peak because of the one time where one of his friends fell off the side of the mountain and died.

The eldest of 9 siblings, Josh became the head of his household at the age of 7 when his parents set the world record for the first couple to fly a hot air balloon into the Bermuda Triangle.

Josh Guest is best known for his role as the title character in the short-lived television sitcom, "Frasier." He continues his love of acting as Cosmo the Cougar on campus for men's softball and golf matches.

Josh has a 4.2 GPA. He is a registered member of the Whig party. And he played for both teams in the Civil war where he was discovered for his first role as Cosmo the Cougar.

He favorite color is blue. He likes hamburger and fry and do the chacha.

He is friends with Senator Orrin Hatch and Susan, who is blind.

He surgically had his earlobes detached from the side of his head. He is currently translating the Book of Mormon into Klingon, Elvish, and Klingon Braille for Susan.

Josh suspected all along that the whole Bigfoot thing was a hoax.

Some of Josh's favorite words include pita, shoe, woozle wozzle, and Tenochtitlan.

He has broken his right collar bone, his right middle finger, his right hand, his right eye, and his right foot. He has had stitches in his head, eyeball, and hand.

Sometimes Josh is Kanye West.

Josh is the inventor of Apple's iFax, the video game Sim Video Game, electricity, the golf putter, and the hands-free alarm clock.

In his free time, Josh goes to work and college.