joshguessed

176th Ask Josh – Pt. 2 – If Not For Utah

In Uncategorized on September 2, 2011 at 10:58 am

Brooke asked as a followup to the last post:

“What do you dislike about Utah [if anything]?”

………….

Dear Brooke,

I just told you all about what I like in Utah. It’s not easy to find negative things when I just spent all my time seeking the good in Utah. You know what is much easier: talking about what I dislike about U2. Since I don’t follow U2, here are some funny things people have said about why they don’t like U2:

  • Pretentious
  • Bloated music
  • Overbearing
  • Derivative
  • Their fans
  • This funny post where Maddox lists the 11 worst songs of 2004 and they are all from U2’s latest album at that time.
Oh my goodness, I am so bored hating on U2. I can’t waste any more time on it. Back to your question after this little vid (maybe jump to 1:25 to get to the fun part):


As for things I dislike about Utah, I am going to crowdsource that one, too:

  • Snow – Troy S.
  • Mormons – Also Troy
  • Logan – Brian N.
  • Logan drivers – Tyler M.
  • Wintertime inversion – Tyler again
  • “Don’t quote me on the Mormons.” – Troy again
  • “That’s a very general question.” – Erin W.
  • “Going back home costs me $2500.” – Vandita R.
  • “Everyone wears shorts to class.” – Vandita again
  • “I have no idea.” – Reece I.
  • “When there is a thunderstorm, everybody freaks out.” – Ryan S.
  • “Everyone likes to talk about how Utah has the highest per capita use of anti-depressants.” – Me, I don’t like that. Get over it, people. It does not mean that Mormons have a tendency to be depressed.
  • “The drivers”
  • “All the Mormons” – Ryan X.
  • “There is nothing to do if you aren’t with a date or FHE group.” – Rebecca K.
  • “Lack of diversity… of people, ideas, everything.” – Shaun B.
  • “Supposedly Christlike people won’t let you merge.” – Christopher X.
  • “The fact that plastic surgery is a growth industry here. Where are all these burn victims coming from? If it’s not burn victims, then think of the sheer number of Utahns getting a downgrade in the resurrection.” – Clay J.
  • “The stinky Salt Lake” – Clay again
  • “The stinky Utah Lake” – Clay yet again
  • “Male music majors” – still Clay
  • “Artsy engagement photos where the couple stands up straight, looks at the camera straight on, arms hanging at their sides, no contact at all. They look like they’re posing for a body scan at airport security. Ironically, these people are often the most outspoken critics of Utah.” – Clay… come on, man.





















  • “High School Musical fans who consider East High as their Mecca.” – Clay really has a lot to say on the subject
  • “Utah State fans” – Yep, Clay
  • “I can’t find any place to eat in Salt Lake other than Red Rock and Olive Garden.” – Clay has issues finding places to eat in Salt Lake
  • “Summer salesmen.” – Clay also can’t sell
  • “Multi-level marketing.” – Clay still sore about putting money upfront to join an MLM and then making no money off of it.
  • “Miracle juice that costs $200 a bottle.” – Haters gonna hate
  • “People who live in Utah but can’t stop griping about how much they hate living in Utah.” – Me. Also Clay. I’m Clay.
  • “The Spice Girls did a music video here.” – Clay is right.


When I Google “Why is Utah…” the results come back like this:

  • Why is Utah the beehive state
  • Why is Utah so weird
  • Why is Utah called the beehive state
  • Why is Utah the most depressed state (Me: “Grrrrrr”)
  • Why is Utah the most stressed state
When I Google “Utah is” I get these results:
  • Utah islamic center
  • Utah issues
  • [insert various nonsense here]
When I add a space after “Utah is”, I get:
  • Utah is boring
  • Utah is famous for
  • Utah is the worst state
  • Utah is in what time zone
  • Utah is crazy
There you have it. Some things that are not liked in Utah.


Readers, since I’m feeling generous today, and because I don’t want to end the blog on such a negative topic, I will tack this onto the last wish. So you still have one wish remaining. What is the best thing to wish for?


Love,


Josh












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  1. I wish for more wishes (questions)!

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