joshguessed

176th Ask Josh – Do You Like Utah

In Uncategorized on September 1, 2011 at 11:13 pm

Brooke asked:

Do you like Utah?
….
Dear Brooke,
Yes. I like Utah.
Some things I like about Utah:
  • BYU football
  • J Dawgs
  • All my homies in the JRCLS
  • T-shirts that carry the likeness of Norm Nemrow and Cecil O. Samuelson
  • Student entrepreneurship projects like Sno-Shack and Flirty Aprons
  • Infinity frozen dessert shops
  • Deseret Industries
  • Bryce Canyon
  • Wasatch Mountains
  • B-Money
  • Temple Square
  • Jimmermania
  • Harold B. Lee Library
  • Thai restaurants on every corner
  • Two-hour long lines at Olive Garden on Friday nights
  • Sam Weller Bookstore
On an unrelated note, Mission: Impossible 2 is so ridiculous, I felt like I was watching Knight & Day.
The more I think about M:I 2, the less I am able to think. This is really just filled with utter tripe. Which is too bad because I really liked the first and third movies. I am just now getting around to watching #2 and it is something awful. Susan and I are waiting for Tom Cruise to jump his motorcycle into a helicopter. He just made a car roll over three times by whipping his arm around 270 degrees and shooting it with a pistol. The bad guys pursuing him are swerving all over the road for no good reason. Now he just killed a car full of bad guys by making a cloud of smoke with his spinning motorcycle wheel.
Okay, more things I like about Utah:
  • Dollar movie theaters
  • Frisbee golf courses
Hold on, Tom Cruise is sliding his bike under a car. He almost cut a guy’s head off with his motorcycle tire. Instead he through his flaming motorcycle away before jumping into his enemy’s arms in a mid-air high-speed chest bump, subsequently causing him to fall off a cliff, where they wrestled in the sand for a bit. He just stopped a knife from entering his eyeball.
  • The Jazz
  • The Saltair
  • Eight-lane freeways on their way
  • Sundance Film Festival
  • “The Greatest Snow on Earth”
Nuts, the DVD is skipping. Tom Cruise now has the knife. he threw it in the sand and killed the knife-wielding bad guy with his ankle. I am not making this up. I wish I was. He really looks like a girl with his long hair. Both he and his foe have delivered at least 10 death blows to each other. He finally died.
  • Rachael Ray’s vacation spot
  • Robert Redford
  • The fact that Dumb & Dumber was filmed here.
  • The fact that Footloose was filmed here, too.
  • Antimony, population 122
The bad guy is still not dead! And now he’s got a gun! And he’s telling Tom Cruise that he should have killed him. Tom Cruise just kicked a pistol out of the sand and fired and killed the bad guy as the bad guy was shooting Tom Cruise.
  • Adobe, EBay, Omniture… We’re turning into the next Silicon Valley
  • Park City
  • Olympic Village
Susan just pointed out to me that no virus syrup is ever red, and no antidote is ever green. Yet this is precisely the source of all Tom Cruise’s ado.
  • America’s #2 Best Burger City
  • Crown Burger
  • The Saturday evening rush at Wal-Mart
  • Jewelry stores that sell to college students and still remain in business.
  • Clark Planetarium
Tom Cruise just told Anthony Hopkins that he wiped out all the virus “by fire.” It’s time to end this. Tom Cruise is kissing Thandie Newton. Doesn’t he know that she has some crazy communicable disease?
In conclusion: I like Utah. I do not like M:I 2.
Love,
Josh
p.s. Readers, that’s two wishes you have used up. Choose your last wish wisely.

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  1. Yay! I'm so glad you like Utah…I do too!!I never saw MI2, so I can't comment on that, but I did enjoy the post.Are you sure you don't want to reconsider your retirement? (and please don't use that as your question #3…really)Love you!

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