168th Ask Josh – Soulmate Revisited

In Uncategorized on July 1, 2011 at 3:49 pm

RV asked:

Did you really make Susan take a picture of you with your fake soulmate?
Dear Recreational Vehicle,
I did.
Dear Readers,
Here is the backstory to Mr. Vehicle’s question:
Back in March 2009 I posted a story about my experience in the Missionary Training Center where the Elders joked that a certain sister who shall remain unnamed (mostly because I don’t know her name) was my MTC soulmate.
One mission and a few additional years later I happened to run into her on campus, in poster form.

From this I learned that she was either a model, an accountant, a model accountant, all three or none of the above.
A couple more years and a marriage later I was in the University Mall with my wife and in-laws, eating a cup of Cold Stone’s worst ice cream flavor (hazelnut). Then I look over my shoulder and there she is… again.
I asked Susan for permission to introduce myself to the stranger. Susan said no. So all I got was this photo:
If that picture alone wasn’t enough to make you think less of me, here is a list of things we concluded about her:
My old, false alarm soulmate:
  • First name Hermana
  • At least 27 years old (unless her father was a mission president which could mean that she is at least 26)
  • An accountant, a model, or a model accountant.
  • Likely to be living in Provo, Orem, or somewhere in Happy Valley.
  • Married, engaged, wearing a fake ring to throw people off, or unaware that she is wearing a ring.
Can’t see it? Okay, we’ll zoom a little further.
  • She prefers strawberry or other pink-colored frozen dairy desserts, or she just puts a lot of food-coloring in her hazelnut-flavored shake.
This is what we know.
Also, on an unrelated note. I ran into one of my old arch-nemeses earlier that day. He’s in my stake. And we both were volunteering at the Cub Scout Olympics. I ran the horseshoe booth while he was off probably timing sprints or setting an obstacle course or something, that unconscionable miscreant.
There he is. Some things never change.
Blech. I can’t stand to write anymore just thinking about him. Thanks for re-opening my old wounds, Rec.
  1. You still make me laugh Josh Guest.

  2. I've met this girl before! Josh- she is definitely an accountant, a model, and a model-accountant.

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