joshguessed

Two Part special – 162nd and 163rd Ask Josh – U Gotta Right and What Max Hall Hates pt. 1

In Uncategorized on February 23, 2011 at 3:26 pm

What are your thoughts on student’s sporting U of U attire on BYU’s campus?

Chimo Hater

….

Dear Mr. Hater, or may I call you Chimo?,

I only have a second to write on this because I have a brief due in a few days that seeks my utter destruction. So, to help me accomplish the brief, I’ll be brief.

Wearing University of Utah attire is a silly thing to do anywhere in the world. Nevertheless, it is your right to do so where permitted. But since your question has limited me to my thoughts on said attire while on BYU’s campus, I’ll elaborate within those parameters.

The BYU Honor Code requires that students respect others and observe the dress and grooming standards. You could make the argument that wearing the apparel brandishing the logo of the University of Utah violates the Honor Code by not respecting others.

The dress and grooming standards require “a clean and well-cared-for appearance.” A person who is wearing U of U attire must be in violation of having a well-cared for appearance because if he is wearing such apparel he has obviously let himself go.
Exhibit A:

Further, the Honor Code points out that clothing is inappropriate when it is “sleeveless, revealing, or form fitting.” Thus, a Ute fan is in violation of the Honor Code and thus should be barred from walking around on campus if his outfit is sleeveless, revealing, or form-fitting. You will see in Exhibit B that these lads are clearly in violation of all three.
Exhibit B:
May I point out that the sleeves are clearly non-existent, the outfits fit the forms perfectly, and they are revealing inasmuch as you can see both of these ladies’ navels. I may further point out that both of them are in dire need of a shave.
Other than that, there really isn’t much thinking to be done about it. If you aren’t violating the Honor Code on BYU’s campus, you’re allowed to wear it. However, if someone finds a way to say what they think about you in a way that is not in violation of the rule to “respect others,” then you’re on notice that you have it coming.
Also, Max Hall hates you.
And as long as we’re on the subject. Let’s go over the list of all the things that Max Hall hates. Because, he hates “everything.” That includes the following:
Max hates oranges.
Max hates American Idol.
Max hates Miley Cyrus.
Max hates EFY.
Max hates trail mix.
Max hates Shakespeare.
Max hates rain.
Max hates his own legs.
Max hates to read.
Max hates James Bond movies.
Max hates it every time you go away.
Max hates people who shout for joy.
Max hates curious things.
Max hates Curious George.
Max hates Elmo.
Max hates anyone named Sheila.
Max hates love.
Max hates Jimmer.
Max hates part-time lovers.
Max hates instrumental music.
Max hates the city.
Max hates baldness.
Max hates birds.
Max hates friendship.
Max hates to dance.
Max hates it when tax is included in the price of the item.
Max hates Mozart.
Max hates Germany.
Max hates feudalism.
Max hates Tetris.
Max hates children.
Max hates the future.
Max hates picture frames.
Max hates secrets.
Max hates loneliness.
Max hates sad songs.
Max hates happy songs.
Max hates to hold back tears.
Max hates invisible people.
Max hates construction workers.
Max hates tenors.
Max hates parents.
Max hates Australia.
Max hates all the planets.
Max hates stories about Greek mythology.
Max hates that Goose dies in Top Gun.
Max hates money.
Max hates art.
Max hates the entire spectrum of light and color.
Max hates surprises.
Max hates Boston.
Max hates human flesh.
Max hates slander.
Max hates rebounds.
Max hates the status quo.
Max hates Egyptian revolution.
Max hates the way Egyptians walk.
Max hates falsetto voices.
Max hates R&B.
Max hates women who ask men out on dates.
Max hates prayer.
Max hates pedestrians.
Max hates triangles.
Max hates architects.
Max hates the paradox of unstoppable forces hitting immovible objects.
Max hates U2.
Max hates Bono, which goes without saying.
Max hates you from head to toe.
Max hates dancing, really.
Max hates Glee.
Max hates earthquakes.
Max hates crowds.
Max hates all phobias.
Max hates anyone with a phobia.
Max hates Spanish.
Max hates Spain.
Max hates happiness.
Max hates happy endings.
Max hates ice in his drinks.
Max hates vandalism.
Max hates cuddling.
Max hates sandwiches.
Max hates stethoscopes that have two tubes leading to the sound sensor.
Max hates barbed wire.
Max hates earbuds.
Max hates emotion.
Max hates Mr. Peanut.
Max hates daydreaming.
Max hates the Beatles.
Max hates feelings.
Max hates the fact that everyone has needs.
Max hates to think about what could have been.
Max hates ships that sail away.
Max hates Life of Pi.
Max hates gospel music.
Max hates getting Rick Rolled.
Max hates the man in the mirror.
Max hates Billy Elliot.
Max hates maps.
Max hates phonebooks.
Max hates wishing wells.
Max hates roommates.
Max hates the cost of gasoline.
Max hates free gasoline.
Max hates greenhouse gases.
Max hates his moods.
Max hates a dirty room.
Max hates segregation.
Max hates cures to diseases.
Max hates morning sunrises.
Max hates white pants.
Max hates a capella.
Max hates a clean room.
Max hates ceilings.
Max hates carpet.
Max hates the word ‘groovy.’
Max hates islands.
Max hates Western films.
Max hates having to shake beverages well before drinking them.
Max hates having to look away from the sun when he would prefer to continue staring.
Max hates cannibalism.
Max hates skydiving.
Max hates taking any risks.
Max hates social security.
Max hates savants.
Max hates drafty rooms.
Max hates satisfactory reviews.
Max hates having to put a tip on top of a gratuity.
Max hates the touch of linoleum on his feet.
Max hates Mother Goose rhymes.
Max hates down pillows.
Max hates laser pointers.
Max hates bookmarks.
Max hates Google maps.
Max hates the equinoxes.
Max hates Lost & Founds.
Max hates smiles.
Max hates Topeka, Kansas.
Max hates double-talk.
Max hates paradise.
Max hates living without you.
Max hates cartoons interacting with humans on live television, and vice versa.
Max hates billboards.
Max hates boomerangs.
Max hates rating systems that attempt to be both heterogeneous and comprehensive.
Max hates pure democracy.
Max hates fashion.
Max hates women who cut their hair short.
Max hates stairs.
Max hates escalators.
Max hates elevators.
Max hates wishes.
Max hates going outside.
Max hates parole for those who are incarcerated.
Max hates the Florida panhandle.
Max hates drive-thru restaurants.
Max hates timepieces.
Max hates it everytime he thinks about the time he was embarrassed at a Church dance when he tripped.
Max hates second chances.
Max hates board games.
Max hates card games.
Max hates little baby kittens.
Max hates that he loves you, you fool.
Max hates the way you kiss him when you’re playing the kissing game.
Max hates it when you make him cry.
Max hates it when he gets booted.
Max hates it when he has to call the University Parking services to have your car towed.
Max hates Robin Hood.
Max hates Little Bow Wow.
Max hates dusk.
Max hates vibrations he senses whenever he hears sounds with a lot of bass.
Max hates standing ovations at any performance.
Max hates paper airplanes.
Max hates his local congressman.
Max hates his shirt.
Max hates to be with you.
Max hates octaves.
Max hates portable dishwashers.
Max hates roads that end.
Max hates William Owen Pughe.
Max hates basketball.
Max hates famous spies.
Max hates every drawing of a Pinisi he has ever seen.
Max hates the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency.
Max hates bumpy car rides.
Max hates the first dance at weddings.
Max hates it when people refer to any song as “their song.”
Max hates metaphors.
Max hates puzzles.
Max hates hot breads, mutton dishes, and kebabs.
Max hates that love will keep us together.
Max hates it when he is told to hustle.
Max hates jive talking.
Max hates getting down tonight.
Max hates Rhinestone Cowboys.
Max hates the way things are in China.
Max hates the phrase, “White man’s world.”
Max hates repeating himself.
Max hates Saturday nights.
Max hates CB Radio lingo.
Max hates any songs that make the whole world sing.
Max hates rollercoasters.
Max hates martial arts movies.
Anyway, Susan is chatting with me now. So I don’t have time to talk about anything else Max hates. But
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  1. "Max Hall hates savants," was by far my favorite. Everything else was a close second place.

  2. ha. ha. ha. hahahaha…

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