151st Ask Josh – Predictable Partner?

In Uncategorized on February 14, 2010 at 2:38 am

M asks…

If a boy wants to do something every night and text you while you aren’t doing stuff. Does that mean that he’s interested? We are friends and he just got off his mission. The thing is I’m not being impatient, I just don’t want to hold out for him if there is not even a chance.



The more I witness interactions betwixt twain people, the more I learn that no one thing means anything anymore. People are using their agency for all sorts of crazy things these days. Consequently we see a smattering of everything along the relationship spectrum. Actions that may have heretofore been considered a telltale sign can easily be explained away by any manner of thinking.

There may have been a time, albeit a purer one, when a boy would pin a girl and that meant one thing and one thing only. Now if a guy pins a girl, it may be interpreted any number of ways:

He likes to poke things.
He’s a wrestler who is taking on female foes for practice.
He’s an Andy Kaufman impersonator
He’s really into the first chapter of Wealth of Nations but doesn’t know how to channel his enthusiasm for division of labour.

He’s a micro-sadist
He is smitten with the girl he is pinning
He has a crush on the pinnee’s roommate
He’s the careful type and wants to practice putting a boutonniere on someone else first.

Now then, take your boy for another example. He wants to do something every night. What does it mean? We’ll cover some of the major checkpoints along the spectrum of meaning.

It could mean he…

Wants to be your eternal companion and have seed as numerous as the sands of the sea.
Wants to marry you at the stake center
Wants to get hitched at the courthouse
Wants to date exclusively
Wants to be in an open relationship
Wants to be it’s complicated
Wants to be your friend
Wants to date your friend
Thinks he is Edward Cullen
Is Edward Cullen
Is a less famous vampire who just needs meaningful evening activities and enjoys texting
Wants you to be in his band
Wants a ride to class
Wants to borrow notes from class
Wants to borrow money
Wants to case your apartment so he can rob it later
Already robbed your apartment and wants to charm his way off the suspect list
Is this guy:
[Photo removed by request of third party]

Assume nothing.



  1. My dating mysteries have been solved. Thanks Josh!

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