joshguessed

138th Ask Josh – A Series of Unfortunate Questions

In Uncategorized on May 20, 2009 at 8:51 am

Josh,
I have a series of questions for you. Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway? Do you think that teenage pop sensation Chili Davis will ever make a triumphant return? What are the requirements of an around the world trip? And if you could visit 5 places on earth, where would you go and why? Oh and if you have time, could you address the timeless question of which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Thanks,
Derek

Derek,

I have a series of answers for you. Since you have the MCAT this week and the LSAT is looming right in front of me, I’m going to be brief for both our sakes.

Question 1: Why do you park on a driveway…?

You park on a driveway because it’s right in front of your house. Parking any further away would cause you to have to walk a long distance.

Question 2: Why do you … drive on a parkway?

You drive on a parkway because sometimes that’s the only way to drive from where you are to where you want to be.

Question 3: Do you think that teenage pop sensation Chili Davis will ever make a triumphant return?

No. I think Chili Davis, both the band and the Jamaican Sensation/baseball player, are not making comebacks. The man has been retired for some 10 years. And all the band members are married and thus have fulfilled the reason for which they started the band in the first place.

Question 4: What are the requirements of an around the world trip?

That all depends. If you’re a satellite of the earth still at the apogee, you need only just sit there. If you’re the moon, you just sit there and let gravity do its thing. Getting into orbit is going to set you back about $120 million.

Question 5: And if you could visit 5 places on earth, where would you go and why?

London – because everybody who is anybody is going there for study abroad anyway.
Macchu Picchu – because I really want to have an excuse to go to Peru and have an Inca Kola. They just aren’t as good in the United States.
Beijing – because I want to see the place where Conan O’Brien pulled his hilarious Olympic prank on Matt Lauer.

http://www.hulu.com/embed/JZ85w63cokMzD4-64_KgvA

Venice – because I really want to see the Colosseum (I know, I know. Please don’t comment to tell me. I know it’s in Florence).
Athens – because I already visited London.

Question 6: could you address the timeless question of which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Yes. And I will. The chicken clearly came first. For behold, a chicken egg, left un-incubated, would surely stand no chance against the elements. BOOM! Timeless question resolved.

Cheers. Chicken & Cheers.

Josh

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  1. I don’t know how the rest of Chili Davis fared, but I do know the bass player got himself a gorgeous wife and is making fabulous babies!!

  2. Josh, you do know that the Colosseum is in Rome, don’t you? I just want to make sure that you put that for comedic effect and not because you had lost your yarbles.

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