132nd Ask Josh – $5 conversations.

In Uncategorized on April 28, 2009 at 1:19 am


hey josh , i had this weird dream but what would you do if you had to pay 5 dollars to the state just to have a conversation with a friend or anybody in person… ?


hey singer_chick463,

If I had to pay 5 dollars to the state just to have a conversation with a friend or anybody in person, I would start the underground railroad of conversations and allow people to talk for a mere $2. People would come use my services because it is a mere pittance compared to going government rate. Sure I might get arrested. But when they ask me in court, I won’t say a thing. And neither will the district attorney. No witnesses will come forward, because they know they’re getting ripped off just to testify in court. Who wants to pay $5 just to rat out the guy who is giving them the $2 deal?

The plan is perfect. BOO YA!

Or, every time someone came up to talk to me I would say, SHUN. Then buy a footlong sandwich at Subway with the money I saved by shunning them.

Someone else would come up to me and I would also say, SHUN. Then I would enjoy 4 roast beef sandwiches from Arby’s.

I know friendships are important. But a guy just can’t live without sandwiches. And baby, I don’t even want to try.

You know if you say ping pong backwards it’s Gnip Gnop? I love that.


  1. thank goodness for that!

  2. !sdrawkcab sgniht gnitirw evol I.ecaf ruoy ssiM

  3. If you were a superhero, what would your ArchNemesis be like? And would you capitalized ArchNemesis or leave it archnemesis to put him/her/it in his/her/its place?

  4. ¿uʍop ǝpısdn ƃuıʇıɹʍ ʇnoqɐ ʍoɥ¡suoʇ noʎ ǝʌol puɐ `ooʇ ǝɔɐɟ ɹnoʎ ssıɯ ı

  5. I am laughing so hard right now. Your plan is so foolproof that I’d even be willing to pay you 3 bucks. Or make you a sandwich.

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