119th Ask Josh – Getting Lindsay Back

In Uncategorized on March 11, 2009 at 9:49 pm

The Captain said…

Josh, what do you think you need to do to get Lindsay back reading you blog?


Dear Captain,

I have to answer questions straightforwardly and truthfully. Lindsay hates the "non-answer." You know what I'm talking about:

Question: "What's the meaning of life?"
Ask Josh: "The characteristic that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects"

Question: "Where are the chips?"
Ask Josh: "Right next to the other chips in the same bag labeled 'chips'."

Question: "Where is the store?"
Ask Josh: "Right behind the sign that says 'store.'"

Question: "Can you see the problem with the world?"
Ask Josh: "I don't know. Ask them. Allow me to translate your question into ewe language so they understand it: Baa baa baa, baa baa baa baa."

As long as I avoid saying straight answers, Lindsay will get increasingly more frustrated with my blog.

Even when I do make a serious attempt at the correct answer, I often miss the mark. Also frustrating for Lindsay. For example:

Lindsay asks: "Do you miss me?"
Lindsay wants to hear: "I miss you so much I… [and if I knew how to complete that sentence we wouldn't be having this conversation now, would we, Captain?]."
Lindsay would even settle for: "I can't stand it any longer. I'm on my way to Sunnyvale right now."
Josh wants to say: "If I don't see you soon, I'll probably die. Really, please get back to Provo now."
Josh is tempted to say: "Miss you? I didn't know I was aiming at you."
Josh actually says: "Yes."

At the end of the day, all I really need to do to get Lindsay to start reading my blog again is to start typing inane comments on her blog posts. It riles her all up. I love that.



  1. Josh, I less than three you this…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………much.It’s all you, man! You are THE anchor. One day we’ll be the new Lauer and Couriclove Natalie

  2. and I just dedicated an entire post to you, to prove my love

  3. Josh!SO…I’m pretty darn positive that I saw you storming through the wilk last week…I waved…you didn’t wave back………that hurt. 🙂

  4. Dearest Josh, we would be dating as an US but I feel you have this longing for Lindsey or Alice or other said someone and so it just can’t work now can it? I’ll have to love you at a distancelove always,Natalie

  5. it’s the weekend. and i haven’t seen you in a long time. sad day.

  6. Question: Who are your top 50 people? I want you to compile a list of your favorite 50 people in order from 1 to 50 and then explain why these 50 people are your favorite.

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