81st Ask Josh – Personal Problems

In Uncategorized on December 25, 2008 at 7:42 pm

by Concerned Badly

dear josh…

this has nothing to do with questions then again maybe it does… why is it that people take things so personally, when they are not meant to be? and how do you not take things personally when they are meant to be taken that way? 

concerned badly


Dear Concerned Badly, 

Short answer: 

People take things personally because people are idiots. 

I do not take things people say personally because people are idiots.

Anyone who is offended by the word idiot is an idiot.

Less short answer:

Getting offended is a personal choice.  Elder David A. Bednar, just a year after he was ordained to the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, said this: 

“[I]t ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else. … In many instances, choosing to be offended is a symptom of a much deeper and more serious spiritual malady.” (David A. Bednar, “And Nothing Shall Offend Them,” Liahona, Nov 2006, 89–92)

Elder Bednar tactfully says that being offended—or for our purposes, “to take things personally”—is a symptom of a much deeper and more serious spiritual malady.  May I suggest that the spiritual malady is that of being an idiot.

So, you ask how do I not take things personally even when people do mean to offend me?  I reckon it is because I always consider the source.  The person who is trying to insult you is saying more about himself (or herself) than he (or she) is saying about you. Any person with criticism worth listening to wouldn’t try to offend you; and any person who would deliberately try to offend you obviously doesn’t have any criticism worth listening to. 

Ergo, anyone who deliberately tries to offend you is an idiot; and anyone who can’t make this distinction is an idiot, and will be wrongly offended.

 So, there you have it. But then again, consider the source.




  1. Why are you so hostile towards the anonymous commenters? Sometimes its scary to ask questions..

  2. My mom always said never to call someone an idiot, or stupid. So I am passing my upbringing on to you and yours:-) YEAH FOR CHRISTMAS

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: