joshguessed

52nd Ask Josh – Anonymous Suspects

In Uncategorized on November 10, 2008 at 9:36 pm

Dane R asked on my facebook wall…


blog is awesome… next question…. Josh, what are your theories on whom the Anonymous could be?

….

Dear Dane, 

The theories are many.  Based on various methods of reasoning, deduction, induction, prognostication, guessing, asking around, googling, and other methods of fact-finding, I have come to various conclusions.

For example,

If I based my guess on who of the Elite8 was most likely to do such a post just to ruffle feathers, it would be Zack.

Based on WordPrint, the very method they use to prove that Joseph Smith did NOT write the Book of Mormon, I would say that was Lindsay E because of her use of the word “obnoxious” and also her frequent typographical errors she makes whenever she’s passionate and/or upset about whatever she’s typing.

If I went with racial profiling, I’d say it was my roommate, Dexter.

If I based it on the tone (that of an angry girl), I would say it was Laura N (which is why I mentioned in my response to the post that she was probably engaged.

If I based it on motive, I would tie it to Alli H, who is responsible for a lot of the statistics on that post and therefore is most likely to be embarrassed by the post, ergo she has the right to be mad (and as a pre-Creative Writing Master, she would be able to feign such stupidity in a post to thereby hide her identity as the author of the post in question).

If I based my answer by psychological profiling, I’d say it was my sister, Jenny.  She defended the post most vehemently and thereby makes herself as a suspect in that her coming to my defense could be just an overcompensatory defense mechanism cleverly placed to distance herself from suspicion as much as possible.

If I based it on people who have motivation to kill Nat, I would say it was Alyssa M.  She got after us on the phone the same day the post came out, then we saw the anonymous post the next morning (which is partially why I tied it to her roommate, Laura N).

I gotta go now, Iron Man is on at Derek’s house!  That’s it! Maybe it’s Derek trying to distract me, or maybe it’s Iron Man. Or maybe Derek is Iron Man.

Oh man.  This could take a while.  The witch hunt continues.

Dear Anonymous,

Look what you’ve done.  I don’t know who you are, but we’d like to hear more from you.  Feel free to give us some clues about your whereabouts and whoabouts.  We’d like to get to know you better.  As you can see, you have created quite a stir on our humble little forum.  Please feel free to return to the fold.  Let’s talk.  Come on, you know you want to.

Love,

Josh


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  1. Motivation to kill Nat? I’m glad that post justifies my having a death wish for him. I’ll start leaving him threatening notes and sign them “Anonymous.” I should’ve blocked my number when I called. Dang it!Wait. If I’m going to be cleverly vindictive, I totally want credit. What fun is anonymity, anyway?! 🙂

  2. I just glad we’re focused on killing Nat and Josh is no longer plotting to kill me.

  3. Don’t hold your breath, Jer.

  4. Is Obama gonna get assassinated?

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