joshguessed

50th Ask Josh – Egotistical8

In Uncategorized on November 4, 2008 at 8:14 am

Dear Readers,

This is our 50th Ask Josh. I’m a little torn up about it, so I’m cancelling the celerations until further notice. We are officially decelerating. Please consume your celery on your own time.

Love,

Josh

……………….

Anonymous said…

First of all the fact that you all call yourself the “elite 8” is obnoxious. I am pretty sure no one on this earth is cool enough to call themselves elite, actually it makes me think you guys are kind of tools. Remember that whole pride thing? Ya you all served mission, you all have read “beware of pride”, but maybe it’s time to reread it.
And the fact that you all pass around girls like a good book, what the heck. That is just straight up weird. Don’t brag about that, it actually makes you guys look like too big of pansies to find your own dates, and oh yes kind of easy. Does it ever make you nervous that one of you “elite” brothers might be making friends with your current date just so they can ask her out the next week? I would not leave anyone I was interested in alone in a group with stats like that. But that is just me.
Anyway I am pretty sure your posting of these “elite/egotistical” stats has secured you all a reserved seat on the “home alone on Friday night watching bad reruns” express.
Perhaps it is time for the “egotistical 8” to stop having “group meetings” (What are you guys still thinking you are on the mission and need to discuss weekly goals? Or is it still Boy Scouts and you act as one another’s den mothers? Either way that is totally creepy. Grow up guys) and start making their own friends…or is the rest of the world just not “elite” enough.


…..

Oh Anonymous,

After all we’ve been through, our getting stuck in the desert, the talk of divers and sundry items, the quotes of yours I read and cherish. I don’t mean to judge you, because I don’t actually know where you’re coming from on this. You are anonymous, and that’s special, too. If I may, may I say that you might be reading a little too much into the 49th post. And it grieveth me that I must explain this thing unto you for the 50th Ask Josh. Nevertheless, I answer every question. That’s the deal.

Elite8. Yes, we’re not thrilled about the name either. And we don’t appreciate the NCAA tournament teams calling themselves that either. After all, they’re just basketball players, not even professionals. And don’t get me started on the Fantastic 4. We wanted to call ourselves the 8 Amigos, but we thought that might be too close to the movie title of a similar name. And “8 Guys, a girl, and pizza place” was pretty much taken (not to mention we don’t have a pizza place… or a girl), as was “8 and a half Men”, as was “8 Angry Men.” In the spirit of today’s voting we could call ourselves “8 Propositions.” Or, since you think we are all tools, we could cut it down to “8 Props.” But in the end, John C gave us the name. We would get rid of it, but the fact that we tongue-in-cheek-ly refer to ourselves this way is just part of the joke. The premise of our giving our group of friends a title is affable regardless of what our name is. And we like to think that we are some outstanding individuals.

Question 1: “Remember that whole pride thing?”

I reckon.

Question 2: Does it ever make you nervous that one of you “elite” brothers might be making friends with your current date just so they can ask her out the next week?

Not anymore. We have come to terms with it.

Comment: I would not leave anyone I was interested in alone in a group with stats like that. But that is just me.

Okay. It is just you then.

Comment 3: Anyway I am pretty sure your posting of these “elite/egotistical” stats has secured you all a reserved seat on the “home alone on Friday night watching bad reruns” express.

You’re close. In my case it is, “Out to watch High School Musical 3 by myself on opening night” transcontinental. Good call. I don’t know how to get tickets for the express train you speak of, because we don’t have a TV.

Comment 4: Perhaps it is time for the “egotistical 8” to stop having “group meetings”

I don’t get it. Why does group meetings have to be in quotation marks? Furthermore, if you were failing at dating I wouldn’t tell you to stop having Girls’ (or Guys’) Night Out.

Question 3: What are you guys still thinking you are on the mission and need to discuss weekly goals? Or is it still Boy Scouts and you act as one another’s den mothers?

We don’t have weekly goals. And we’re not acting like we are in the mission. The Den Mother thing is about right. I think it is one of the Johns.  They frequently bring treats.

The statistics reported in this report are not to brag. It is to lampoon me and my friends to show how we really are quite pathetic. You see, the Elite8 blog (at the bottom of my blog list as of this writing) has been nicknamed “Elite8 seeking to become the Sweet16.” The statistics I present are not meant to criticize Provo/Orem females. They’re just there to show you how we really are trying earnestly, yet the numbers do not lie: we are clueless when it comes to women.

Sigmund Freud put it this way: “The great question… which I have not been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is ‘What does a woman want?'” (Quoted in Charles Rolo, Psychiatry in American Life, 1963) And apparently we don’t know either.

Don’t be offended that we are so inept at courtship. We really are trying. I have received comments as to why girls have to stay at home, and I have tried to address that topic sensitively yet with candor. As a group of guys, we spend a lot of our time and effort trying to be worthy suitors of the women we interact with. Despite our best efforts, we have not made much progress. Instead of stewing in bitterness, we decided to laugh at ourselves. We aren’t bragging, we are admitting our idiocies. “We few, we lucky few, we band of [better idiots].” [Shakespeare, Henry V]

You may be upset by us for continuing to date girls despite our failures. When I say Nat has gone on 15 first dates in a semester it is not like Don Juan de Marco’s servant bragging about his master’s 1003 sexual conquests in Spain alone. Nat has gone out on a limb 15 times, and 15 times to no avail. This is not meant to say “Those 15 girls are stupid.” I say, “Gee, Nat, how many times can you fail to secure a second date?” We are doing our best to play the field as we should. We don’t keep a log book that we spend hours at home admiring and showing to each other (actually, we do keep some journals… Doctrine & Covenants 20 says “There shall be a record kept among you”), but the data reported just happens to be a result of my sub-par research and data gathering.

You seem to be upset at our laughing at the current situation as it is. Here’s what Patricia Holland said concerning the subject:

“If you are disappointed in the romance–or lack of it–in your life, I ask you to … keep a sense of humor, retain your marriage goal for the important commandment it is, and put your energies into becoming! Don’t spend your time walking on your lower lip about what is not. That just stretches the heck out of your lower jaw.” [BYU Devotionals However Long and Hard the Road – 18 January 1983]

We could sit at home as you suggest we ought. But would that make anybody better off? Should we, as a group of friends, shun any girl that one of us has gone out with on a first date yet has not married?  Do first dates mean that much to you, really?

Well, Anonymous. I gotta run. I gotta get to work. If I ever ask you out, remind me not to ask you out. But you’re probably married, engaged, or otherwise unavailable, which is probably what makes it so easy for you to criticize and scathingly rebuke those who are trying without succeeding. Way to kick ’em while they’re down.

P.S. Keep those questions coming.

P.P.S. Love your face


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  1. Actually Anonymous, I had quite the opposite reaction to their Elite8 blog. I found it funny, honest and enlightening. I think you WAY over-analyzed it. But thats just me. 😉

  2. Josh, I’m glad you elite 8 aren’t romantically bitter as anonymous seems to be. Way to go elite 8 for grinning and bearing it rather than aching and moaning.Also, if a girl likes a guy, she usually gets along with his friends, because friends seem to usually have the same sense of humor and attitude towards life. If one doesn’t work out, why not try the next? maybe he will. It’s not like high school where some people made a game of it.Smile a little anonymous, it’ll make you happier.

  3. I thought the dating post was actually quite self deprecating….NOT prideful, or boastful. It was supposed to be FUNNY (and I found it to be very much so). A sense of humor is highly sought after in dating situations, so if you find yourself sitting around on Friday nights, watching bad reruns, the lack of said sense might be the reason. Lighten up honey.

  4. Good for you, Josh. I personally thought the elite8 post was hilarious. Dating sucks sometimes and it’s just better to laugh about the whole thing. With how tough it is, I sometimes wonder how couples ever even get together.

  5. Wow, really?Freshman year, eight friends created something that I have fortunately been included in since then. Get past the name, the Elite 8 came straight from march madness which happens to be popular among them. Obnoxious? Don’t hang around then, it’s not like we advertise. The elite 8 are closer and more involved in each others’ lives than most “best friends” I know. Apparently you don’t know these guys very well or you would have never jumped to such ridiculous conclusions, which is unfortunate for you. None of them think that they are better than the rest of the world and thus needed to create a super club that shows the world that they are cool. As far as group meetings go, those of us who are roommates, it’s an apartment meeting where we discuss things like cleaning, milk, and taking out the trash. When the meetings involve more than roommates, we’re discussing the next trip to the cabin or what we’re doing for intermurals this semester. Well one time we started working on a merit badge, but anyways…None of us are perfect when it comes to girls, myself most of all; the rest of the elite 8 are trying a lot harder than I am to progress in life and with growing comes mistakes. So you don’t agree with some things that have happened in the elite 8 history, well we’re not proud of everything either. Have you read the other 49 posts? Josh’s blog is humorous, Josh is a funny guy, he makes people laugh, and he’s laughing at us and himself for what we’ve been through in the last two years.Really though?

  6. Wow, sounds like you have quite a dill weed reading your blog. “Anonymous” probably thinks he’s pretty funny, sitting at his desk on a Friday night, eating cheetos dipped in sour cream and watching “Who’s the Boss – Season 2.” Maybe “anonymous” should work harder on that liberal arts degree that will afford him the opportunity to look down his nose at other people who are better than him, instead of reading a blog that he doesn’t care for. Only a true tool would post such garbage under the moniker “anonymous”. If this person had any huevos, he’d own up to his verbal vomit and come out the wood work.

  7. HahahahahahahahaBravo, Josh. Bravo.

  8. Most of what I would say in response to the Nov 3 11:23pm anonymous comment to the 49th post was pretty much covered by Josh’s 50th post. I endorse the 50th post.And I will add this:Your mistake is like the mistake of Josh Kutterer, a dear BYU freshman who totally misread a letter to the editor published in The Daily Universe, titled “Grade redistribution.” He missed the satire and supposed the author was seriously advancing such a policy, and wrote in a letter saying the policy was ridiculous.Somehow, anonymous, you totally misred a post published on The Better Idiot, post 49. You missed the self-deprecating humor and supposed the author was seriously advancing the notion that the Elite8 are authentically elite and the women around them just don’t measure up, and wrote in a letter saying the notion is ridiculous.Unfortunately, both responders reveal their relative immaturity in not catching the sophisticated writing style.Fortunately, Kutterer made an honest, innocent mistake and admitted his folly: “Wow, I did totally miss that…thanks for pointing that out, haha. I’ll keep your second paragraph in mind [to watch for satire in my GE class course content] for the future, thanks.”Though I think your mistake was not driven by honest innocence, but rather a personal axe to grind, it is fortunate for you, anonymous, that I–and likely others–will look past this tirade if you admit what all the readers have already pointed out: you missed the boat.

  9. so this is what the fuss is all about. i am slightly offended that you thought anonymous might really have been me. i’ve never shied away from bluntly and boldly stating my opinion even at the risk of offending member of the so called elite 8.it wasn’t me.

  10. What’s a guy like anonymous doing reading this blog anyways? I fully endorse both posts. Good job Josh.

  11. oh anonymous,you just wish you were as cool as the elite 8. and as for the elite 8 keep on keeping on you guys are fantastic

  12. The person who wrote the question seems to have an issue with being left out.

  13. I just have to say something about this. First of all, it’s humorous to me that this has become so controversial. Second, I’m still insulted that you thought it was me. It’s so poorly written. Thirdly, please note how all of the commenting females referred to anonymous as a male, and vice versa. I still hold that it was a guy. Fourthly, I thought the 49th post was very entertaining and I’m pretty sure I deserve honorable mention for my contribution to the shocking statistics. I love y’all Elite 8. Keep at it.

  14. who ever said it was you, Alli?

  15. Actually, I was the one who suggested it was Alli. I only said it in passing. Of course I didn’t really believe it was her. Though I don’t doubt her ability to cleverly concoct and forge such a counterfeit comment.However, it was not my idea that Lindsay ever wrote it. I just asked on behalf of another.So the witch hunt continues….

  16. P.S. Honorable mention for Alli for having dated six of us (and kissing three of us, but not moving the necessary 1% to kiss Nat) then egging Derek’s car, going on a mission, then getting broken up with by Jeremy after a 4 hour drive, causing Jeremy to crash, finishing up your degree as a sex therapist, and now taking it upon yourself to be dating not just John B, but Dane, too.Kudos, Al. Kudos.

  17. hahaha she is one incredible woman!

  18. I did too kiss Nat.

  19. i know very stupid question but what is an elite ?

  20. josh. i love you and don’t know why others don’t. xoxo.

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