47th Ask Josh – 50th Ask Josh

In Uncategorized on November 2, 2008 at 12:16 am

The Captain said…

I am now caught up on all ask josh questions. What are you going to do to celerate the 50th ask josh?

Dear Captain, I have never celerated anything before.  I suppose such an undertaking will require that I obtain as much celery as possible. First I would go to the celery capital of the world: Arvada, Colorado.  I would soon leave, knowing that Arvada is an Ar-FRAUD-a, because everybody knows that two-thirds of the U.S. supply of celery is grown in California, and 20% of the total celery comes from Florida.  Beyond that, the Pascal variety of celery that we eat today was first cultivated in Michigan back in 1874. 

After I go visit Arvada, I will accelerate myself to the Black Celery Festival in lovely Trevi, Italy. 


Having obtained all the necessary celery to celerate the 50th Ask Josh, I would get my celery recipes together.  I would consult the list of 272 different celery recipes. 
I would update my subscription to Celery Magazine.
I will also inform my fellow members of the Celery Magazine Facebook group that I am celerating my 50th Ask Josh. I have already been a member of the club for some time now. They haven’t had a wall post since July of this year, so the news about the Celeration on Ask Josh will be a breath of fresh air for them methinks.
I really don’t consume a lot of celery.  So I need to be careful to not eat too much on my celeration days. So I would consult the nutritional data on celery.  For instance, I would need to be aware that the calories in celery are 73% from carbohydrates, 10% from fats, and 17% from proteins. So if I was on Atkins, I might think twice.

Now, I would naturally be inclined to take the full 2 billion pounds of celery consumed in the United States every year, but that would require I take all the celery grown throughout the year.  But celery only keeps for 5-7 weeks at the optimum temperature of 32 degrees Fahrenheit (273 Kelvin).

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the up and coming celeration of the 50th Ask Josh.  I can’t wait to find out what it is.
  1. AHAHAHA.. you really had me laughing on that one Josh.. BA HA HA… You crack me up! man oh man… ahahahaha…

  2. Clever Josh, very clever. Make fun of my typo. But one thing, what happened to the 46th ask Josh? Seems like you’re too eager to get to your celery celebration.

  3. Oh, wow. I am laughing so hard!

  4. ew, all that celery would stink up the whole county.

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