15th Ask Josh – Ideal Girl

In Uncategorized on August 26, 2008 at 10:50 pm

Anonymous said…

Describe the ideal girl down to the very last detail, and why.
The idea girl?  This is a tough one.  The reason being that I have created in my mind what I thought was the ideal perfect girl, then once in a while a real live person comes along who totally blows the imaginary girl out of the water.  And then I ask myself, “Now why didn’t I think of that girl?”  
I’m supposed to be in bed now.  But I feel like I must answer this question.  I am very tempted to try and cater my answer to whomever I suspect wrote this question.  But I will respect the right that I have granted to you readers/questioners to maintain anonymity and I will answer your question truthfully.
Now then, I don’t believe that it is fair for a man (or a woman either) to describe the standards they hold for “the perfect mate” without holding themselves to that very standard.  So if my ideal girl sounds a little lame, it’s not because I have set my sights low, it just means I’m too lazy to make myself any better than that.
1. She is well rounded – The Bard said that that all the world is a stage and every man must play a part.  And there are many parts to be played.  I do not believe that complete obsession with a single role is healthy. I think it is important to at least dabble in anything that is “virtuous, lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy.” That means being active in sports, but also appreciating good books. Knowing how to be serious when the occasion calls for it, but laughing pretty much the rest of the time.  She doesn’t have to be an expert cook, but she can at least enjoy learning about cooking and experimenting, even if it doesn’t turn out very well.  She knows I won’t complain if it’s the same thing every night, or if it’s a new ruined thing either. And she can laugh at herself if that should be the case.  She’s fun in a group, she can help me work a room, but we get along great just one on one.  We can make each other laugh, and we can have deep conversation too. We can always find something to talk about but it’s not awkward if we feel like just sitting or walking quietly. She at least knows the basics of one musical instrument, and she has a rudimentary knowledge of one foreign language. She enjoys going to concerts and plays, but she can enjoy a sporting event, too.
She doesn’t have to like video games.
2. Church activity – For us it is understood: we are going to Church.  We’ll never debate over whether we are going to Church or pay our tithing.  We don’t turn down callings.  We enjoy watching conference together. We’re raising our kids to prepare them to serve missions and marry in the temple.   We do what the Church tells us.
3. Odor Honesty – This is difficult to describe.  I don’t like people who point out every little thing they see wrong with others. And I really enjoy praise and positive attitudes from people. But I love people who can candidly tell me the truth about what they smell. The true gems in my life are the people who are unafraid to tell me that my breath stinks, or my car smells bad, or my apartment reeks.  I believe my greatest fear is to go through life unaware of my own offensive odors, since I am used to my own smell, I could be driving away the entire world with a waft of air brushing past me, and I would be none the wiser.  This also applies for things like whether or not my shoes match my belt, or whether or not I’m allowed to wear certain colors on certain days or whatever.  Since I am not a fashion expert by any means, I love hearing suggestions.  While I myself would never tell someone I did not like their outfit, I am glad that some people exist with slightly less inhibitions who tell me like it is.
4. Family Oriented – I love my family.  I hope she loves hers. We’re going to have a great one of our own.
5. Sophisticated Thrift – I work hard to make myself employable.  I want to get a good education so I can provide my wife with whatever it is she wants.  I hope she has a taste for finer things.  But she can really make the pennies stretch while we’re waiting to reach that level.  We don’t mind buying used cars. We want to stay out of debt.  We’re willing to forego spending in some areas so that we can save for the future.  We want to be able to put our kids through missions and college.  I want to be able to retire early so we can enjoy more of our later years together.  That doesn’t have to mean I work 80 hour weeks for the first 10 years out of college, we just find ways to be disciplined and save and we will make it work.  She isn’t disappointed if we aren’t super rich, but she at least expects me to be motivated to do my best work without neglecting her and the kids.
6. Holds my hand – I love it when she does that.  I love it when she tells me to, too.
7. Tells the truth – Here’s my great ambiguity.  I suppose guys are expected to make the advances in the relationship and they’re supposed to pick up on signs that women drop.  I know I should naturally pick up on those and learn to read between the lines.  But even if that ideal girl isn’t for me (as the joke goes, “I just found the perfect woman.  Unfortunately, she was looking for the perfect guy.”) , she can tell me so.  Just like the odors, I like to be told if things aren’t going well, or if she isn’t happy, or if she’s uneasy about something.  If I’m not picking up the signs, I appreciate it if she tells me, “you’re supposed to hold my hand now” or “it’s okay, I don’t like to leave tips either.”
8. Trusts me – We’re each other’s confidants.  I like to talk. But I like to listen more. And she doesn’t worry that I am going to be upset or judgmental if she tells me the truth. She knows that I’m not going to use anything against her or push buttons that I know will hurt her.  She’s not ashamed or embarrassed about the way she feels or thinks, even if I don’t agree.  I consider it huge compliment if she has had the worst day (or the best day) and she can’t wait to tell me about it.
I was about to end right here.  But you said “to the very last detail, and why” So I suppose I have to keep going.  Since I can’t really go well with details, here are a few things we do together to help paint the picture a little better:
We stay in the library late and finish our homework.  Even if that means no flirting while we work.  We’re amorous, but not irresponsible.
We go to devotionals together.
We have inside jokes.
We like to hike.
We like to learn dances together. And we dance whenever we want.
We like to ride tandem bikes at all hours.
We like picnics anywhere.
We like to jog together.
We like to walk together when either of us doesn’t feel like jogging.
We don’t own pets (hey! I’m the one describing the ideal one here)
We learn piano duets together, even if they’re simple.
We go to the International Cinema
We are allowed to gossip, but we’d both rather talk about something else.
We play Settlers of Catan.
We are very competitive at Jeopardy and Trivial Pursuit, and we love to do victory dances.
We also play Dance Dance Revolution.
We whisper funny comments in each other’s ear during movies.
Okay, I gotta get to work.  I’ll think of adding to this later.  
  1. your the perfect man.

  2. Hee, this is adorable.I also love the “we ride tandem bikes together at all hours.”:) Have a good day.

  3. You’re a good kid Josh Guest I have no worries for you.

  4. i think what they were trying to say is you’RE the perfect man.. otherwise the sentence just doesn’t make sense haha. i loved this blog, probably my favorite so far. but what i really got on here to tell you was that i wanted to let you know that i just changed my blog url and the new one is lindsayapproved.blogspot.comk see you soon!

  5. This is great! I’m totally loving reading your blog! More boys should blog…they are better than girls blogs.

  6. Anonymous obviously has not seen Josh’s room. However, aside from that, he is a pretty great fella!

  7. haha josh i think i am secretly in love with you

  8. wow i like that, very confidant things to say..especially when it comes from the heart.

  9. Somehow you captured perfection in words Josh. When you find this girl, let me know if she has a sister.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: