2nd Ask Josh Inquiry. Re: Pygmies

And why do pygmy marmosets eat their young? – Nike85

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Dear Nike85,

Pygmy marmosets eat their young for the same reason your parents pay for you to go to college.

Let us examine the pygmy marmoset family. We will call them the Los Curly family. The Los Curly family consists of Sr. and Sra. Curly, Juanito (but we’ll call him Lowell), the pygmy that looks like Juanito and is in love with a Texan Marmoset named Amos Cerro (We’ll call him Juan), and D and Bubb Rubb. Those are the names of the pygmies in this spscific troop/gaggle/pride/clan of pygmies. Specifically, they want Lowell out of the house. More than anything they want Lowell gone. They try to export Lowell to a place like the Philippines by hiding him in a crate of auto parts or fake Mac Notebooks. When they find out that Little Lowell broke his patay off in a dadong, and he can’t stop laughing about it. So they eat him.

Maybe if Lowell wasn’t so pushy about his sojourn to the New York Zoo his parents would have decided to let him live long enough to reproduce, but no. Lowell allows his co-pygmies buy fake cologne without warning him and he ends up losing 45 pygmy-bucks on a Acqua Pyg Mio and Tommy Pygmy. Therefore Lowell must not live.